Is there a little voice inside your head? What does it say? Pam Weeden explores 'self-talk' and how to train ourselves to be more positive with our inner voice.
We all have within us several voices that talk to us continually; some of these shout and some whisper so quietly, we fail to pick up what it is they have to say. The truth is, the voice that can sometimes have the biggest claim to our listening capacity is that which comes from our knowledge of our biggest weaknesses and sense of inadequacy. In times of struggle, unease or challenge, it is here that our vulnerabilities are exposed and our self-talk – the dialogue we tune into in our internal processing – becomes one of failure where we remind ourselves of what we cannot do, or where we are lacking.
Without something in our toolkit to regulate this kind of self-talk and establish some control over it, very quickly we might as well have handed it a megaphone and given it unlimited access to our brain.
So; what do we do?
Learning to regulate negative self-talk takes time. It takes a conscious effort of replacing a limiting belief and self-perception with an empowering one; likewise, reflecting on strengths, seeking learning and growth from the things that have gone wrong, and investing time in building a balanced sense of self that can recognise what is an asset and a strength as well as what needs to develop can gradually quieten down a negative internal voice that is rooted in lack of confidence and esteem.
Also helpful is building emotional literacy and being better equipped to express feelings. The Feelings Wheel tool is a very helpful way of extending vocabulary around emotions and giving an individual a means to explain where they are coming from or what is going on for them in a particular moment.
Once an emotion has been shared, it can lose some of the ‘hold’ it has over someone and creates the opportunity for a helpful conversation to take place. Such a tool has real value with children and adults; it is empowering and liberating to have a means to communicate in full what can be complex and confusing.
Pam Weeden is a qualified professional Executive Coach and Mentor who is passionate about leadership development and believe in facilitating the growth of the person and the professional. Throughout the pandemic Pam offered pastoral support to the Trust's senior leadership team.
You can follow Pam on Twitter: @PamWeeden
